3 March 2008

Post #36:  Convictions

Today, Monday, we did our school work, and then I prepared a letter for Nikki McNally, the 15 year-old girl who was the topic of a previous blog. (Found out today that her last name is not Grech, like her mother's.) Ever since meeting Nikki at that River of Love Church, I've felt a burden in my heart for her.  After yesterday's church sermon, at the Bible Baptist Church, I've felt pressed to do something for this poor girl.

The pastor, yesterday, said, “Standing still is not only doing nothing for God, it is allowing evil to grow.” This reminded me of something I heard in another recent sermon (ironically by the pastor who prayed for Nikki a few weeks ago).  “A true Christian will take action for the Lord.” In my daily reading of the Bible, I've come across many encouraging words that I've felt were exactly what Nikki needs to hear at this time.  She's clearly been a victim of an evil attack on her heart, and I feel like I need to take action, though I haven't been sure what that means, except that I want to show her that there is hope.

The day I stood next to Nikki, the pastor had asked her if she knew what it meant to be born-again. She said, yes, but then she struggled to explain. He said, “It means to die to your human nature, and to allow Christ to dwell in you; inviting the Spirit of God to live in you, He gives you a new nature, making you a new creation, and bringing you back into relationship with God. Because we are all born with a sin-nature, and we are separated from God. We are dead, spiritually. Therefore, to become “alive” again, spiritually, we have to ask Jesus to come and live in our hearts. Thus we have a spiritual regeneration; we are born anew, born from above, and reunited with God. Only then can we conquer sin and death, and live the life God has intended for us.”

Then he asked her, “Do you want to be born-again?” She said, “Half of me does, and half of me doesn't.” He said, “Well, let's just save half of you tonight then.” My heart sank when I heard him make this joke, since this girl was clearly already battling within. Being half-saved, half-committed, just leaves an open door for evil. I know from my own experience, having spent many years half-committed to the Lord, that all Hell can break loose in our lives when in that state.

My heart felt sick with conviction when I heard the pastor at the Baptist church, yesterday, read these lines of Scripture: Jesus said in Luke 11:24-26 When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first.

The pastor two weeks ago, had prayed this girl would be delivered from all evil. Well, it seems that the battle raged out of control when the evil spirits returned with legions of powerful friends. Doesn't this seem to plainly explain how she could come to such a point as to fatally wound her mother?  She must have been involved in some seriously dark things.  Yet, we know that God can intervene and bring light to even the darkest of places.

Now, I know this may be a bit too much for some of you to handle, or comprehend, or even believe. Perhaps you won't agree with me. That's okay, I just need to point out why I have been feeling compelled to go and speak to, or at least deliver a message to, this poor girl. She's living out a real nightmare. And the one thing she needs now is hope. There's really only one place she can find lasting hope, and healing: it comes from the Great Physician, Wonderful Counselor, and Mighty God, through faith in Jesus Christ.  It seems everything I read, every online sermon I listen to, every live sermon I happen to attend has been saying, "Go help this girl!"  I don't dare be disobedient to God!

We picked up Dave around 3:00 this afternoon, and drove over to Mount Carmel Hospital. I went through the gate, and it took a while for folks to understand who I was looking for because, as I mentioned, I assumed Nikki's last name was the same as her mother. Finally, I was told that I couldn't see her until I went to the prison in Paola (where we'd just come from as that's where Dave works...not at the prison, but in Paola) to get police permission.

I walked out, and as I was crossing a courtyard back to the gate and my family waiting in the car, I prayed, “Lord, is there anything else I should do while I am here today?” A quiet thought came to my mind, “My words will rescue her.” Then I realized I had the letter, which included the scriptures I felt were for her, and a pocket Bible with me, and I could maybe just have it delivered to her. I went back to the main desk and told them I had a note for Nikki, and I wondered if I could have it delivered to her. They said yes. Then I asked for an envelope, and they directed me to another office down the hall.

I went in, and the nice little envelope I was given was the perfect size (like a 4x6) for my letter and the pocket Bible I was carrying. I bought the pocket Bible for Ian the other day, as the kids had been saying they'd like to read their Bibles, but they don't have them along. So I saw these little pocket New Testaments and bought three of them. Ian's had a rip in the binding and a small hole through a page, so he asked if we could trade his in. This morning, as we were packing up to go out, I saw it and thought it would be nice to have a Bible to give Nikki with the note. Ian said I could give it to her. He seemed honored to be part of this mission to help this poor girl.

Ian and Rachel know only a little about this situation, as they've asked about it, but the other kids don't really know much. Just that we're helping a girl who is very sad, and very troubled.

I walked the envelope to the ward where Nikki is being kept, and I have to tell you this is one depressing place! Folks, if you're the praying sort, please be praying for this girl. She's in need of serious divine intervention!

As I think back on the night I went to River of Love and met Nikki, I recall that I really was looking forward to getting out of the flat, and having a little time to myself. I was excited about going and meeting some other Christians, too. But there was a moment that night when I thought I wasn't going to be able to go anywhere, because I had sliced my finger with a broken glass while washing the dishes that afternoon, and just when Tara had come to pick me up for the service, the wound started gushing blood again, and I couldn't get it to stop. It was crazy! And I remember wanting to go so badly and feeling like there was a good chance I'd be going to the ER for stitches instead. I held my hand up over my head (to keep the blood from flowing to my fingers) and I prayed it would just stop, so I could get out the door! Thank God, it did...if not, I may not be writing this blog ...and I likely wouldn't have written the letter I did to her, as I would not have felt any connection to this young girl, Nikki.

I believe the battle for Nikki's heart and soul has been going on a long time, and that night, the devil was doing all he could to keep me from getting involved.  I've never done anything like this before, mind you. I sure didn't have this in mind when I asked God to use us while in Malta!  But I have to tell you, with the way my heart's been convicted these past few weeks, I have no doubt that He's placed us here for His purposes. The evidence, all the incredible ways He's worked things out, all the Scriptures He's shown me over the past two weeks, there's just too much to be counting it as coincidence.

Who can deny that there's a Mighty Hand at work here? I can tell you, I believe! And I simply want to stand in the gap in any way I can for this poor girl who's only known hell on earth. May she be released from darkness and brought quickly into a life of hope, joy, love and peace, by the grace of Our great and mighty God, and through Jesus Christ, who intercedes for us. Amen. I thank you, too, for your prayers! Again, “true Christians take action for the Lord.” Thanks for taking action with me, by standing in the gap, with your prayers.

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